Three days ago, I matched on Badoo with Jean-Briac a twenty-eight-French-white dude. He looked like the perfect son-in-law— chic, classy and elegant. At first, I was not taking him seriously. Why would he like my profil? Honestly, my pictures were not that fine to attract such a charming guy—no self-esteem issue, pure fact.
From experience, I have realised that when a white chic man likes my profil, it’s usually for sex purposes, only. Now, you understand that I was not very enthusiastic to start the conversation. But he did…
I wanted to get married with her and have a family.
He engaged the conversation in a very original way— he told me that he has never had the chance to talk to a cancer woman. We both share the same astrologic sign so he was curious to interact with someone, who potentially, could have the same personality traits. To be honest, I found it cool to meet a man who cares about astrology.
Very quickly, he introduced himself as a romantic guy and passionate lover. His dad was a doctor, he grew up in the North of France. He talked to me about his privileged childhood. He also gave me a large insight on what it’s like to grow up among rich people— the pression that rich parents put on their kids and how much he wanted to escape it.
According to him, he always has been more sensitive and different from his friends. He wanted more and wished more for his life, so he travelled. He worked 6 years in Canada in the cinema Industry.
I don’t remember how but came the moment to talk about his ex girlfriend. He immediately referred her as ‘an unstable chick’. Last december, he broke up with her despite he was madly in love. She went back to her ex, the one she left to date Jean-Briac. Together, they had a very unhealthy relationship— full of passion. He used to love her so much that he thought of marrying her and get her pregnant.
“Why did you want to get marry and build a family with someone that you judged ‘unstable’?“ I asked.
“Love is blind. (…) it is what it is“. He answered.
My eyes were rolling.
Sorry, but I have no sympathy for men who can’t tell when a woman is wife material or not— #redflag.
Have you ever dated a White man before?
On day n°2, I asked him to call me. The call lasted almost 2 hours. After discussing about the trips he made in Asia, I told him that I would like to visit South Korea. He answered that I would get a lof of attention as a black person. When he was in Japan, women were very sensitive to his beauty and the colour of his skin.
He did benefit from this situation and had sex with a couple of Japanese women.
Then, he asked me if I’ve ever dated a white man before. This question puzzled me. What was the point of it? It was weird and very intrusive. But I replied positively. So, he shared with me the good sex that he had in Canada with two different black women, he described it as ‘wild sex’.
I wanted to know more about the ‘wild’ adventures he had with black women. I wanted to know what could have happened to me after we might share a night. Ah, I thank Lord for having this intuition!
One of them wanted more but he did not so only used her for sex until he broke her heart— #redflag
After we hang up, he expressed how much he loved the conversation we had and how much he was attracted to me— my voice, personality and my witty spirit.
“What’s up with my voice?“ I was expecting to fall into my trap by saying the two words that I don’t want to hear.
“ It is so sensual and sexy.“
I sighed. In my head I was thinking ‘another red flag flying in the air’.
He did fail!
I am a grown man now. I know what I want
On day n°3, he told me that he plans to watch a movie at night. Remember, he introduced himself as a ‘romantic guy’. Because it’s quarantine in France, I recommend to watch the movie at the same time while each of us is in his own flat. He was pleased by the suggestion. Unfortunately he could not find a movie to watch— all the movies that we wanted to watch were not available anymore on the French Netflix.
So he came up with ‘The Notebook’. For him, this film is a must-watch. The type of movie that you have to watch on winter covered with a blanket while your hands are holding hot chocolat mug.
Mh, yeah. Ok… Whatever.
Jean-Briac has suddenly had the idea of watching it on our first date because it is sooooooo romantic, huh. He did not forget to mention that after that, we could spend the night together.
“I don’t spend the night with a man if I don’t sleep with him.“ I revealed brutally.
“Well, I do. We can have sex or not. I just want to spend the time with you“. He reformulated.
The conversation was becoming awkward, something didn’t feel right— I knew it, I could feel it. I explained him that I don’t have sex on the first date because it gives me the impression of being a one-night-stand-gal or worse, a friend of benefits. Oh, by the way I should tell you how much I despise sexfriend’s situationships…
“I wanted to have sex with you and be in a relationships with you.“ He said.
“ I don’t get it. We can be in a relationship and then have sex.“ I advocate.
He laughed. Outch!
I asked him to call me because I needed to clarify certain things— his real intentions towards me. The next second, my phone rang.
“Hey, I wanted us to discuss about it on the phone since I had the feeling that I was misunderstand you.“
“It is okay Leslie. I am just telling you that I would love to have sex with you. We get along well, and you are attractive. I really enjoying our conversations, your personality gets on my nerfs but put a smile on my face so I don’t understand why we can’t have sex on the first date. If we meet and that we like each other, then it’s okay. I am sure that I will love your energy.“
“Listen, I get where you are coming from. With that being said, you have to understand that you scare me. You are older than me and you have a lot more sexual experiences than me. It just need time. “
“Well, I am grown men and I know what I want. I haven’t had sex since last december and I am not going to wait to have sex. I like you, I feel good with you so there is no reason for us to not having sex. But you know what ? it’s okay. I am talking to other girls, you too so everything’s fine. I am only using Badoo because it is quarantine but I don’t count on it that much“
I was shocked and highly disappointed.
“If you just need sex then go have sex with a girl then come back to me.“
“What ? It’s not that I just want sex. I want it with you. “ He said, trying to romanticise his answer.
“But, I am not sleeping with you. I feel forced.“
“ Let’s stop here. I am not forcing you so I don’t want you to feel forced. We can still continue talking to each other though, if you want to.“
“No, I don’t want to. “ I hanged up on him.