How to make a friend-with-benefits relationship work

A sexfriend is a pun. Listen, it’s not acceptable to have sex with friends – your real ones. So having friends from the opposite sex should not stop you from having limits. Don’t you ever turn a friendship into a friend-with-benefits relationship? A sexfriend is someone for who you only have sexual interests, which means that you two are not supposed to talk about anything personal or emotional. Nothing compared to an actual friendship. I prefer to call it a ‘situationship’ because you have to deal with it and to respect all the procedures. Are you ready to learn how to make a friend-with-benefits relationship work?


First, use dating apps to find the perfect sexfriend for you. Before sleeping together, you should establish clear rules for your new sexual partner. You must know exactly what you want so you don’t end up getting what you don’t want. Everyone has its vision of sex and pleasure. So, start by asking questions about one’s sexual vision to see if your needs can be met. Explore one’s sexual past.

Having a sexfriend consists of talking freely about everything that comes to your mind. Open up to each other about your sexual preferences and the things that you would like to try. Describe precisely how you like and how you want to be treated in the bedroom. Make sure that one knows what type of sex you like, so there’s no surprise. Try to be curious as much as possible to connect sexually with your sexfriend. The more you will put efforts into knowing your sexfriend and the more you will be able to picture the fun that you two could have or not.

Read: How to initiate a friends with benefits situation

#1.Listen to yourself and respect your intuition

During the conversation, listen carefully to your gut. If you feel like your needs can not be met then don’t get into this situationship. If you feel like the potential sexfriend has a vision of sex that is despicable for yourself, don’t get into it. Finally, if you feel like there is something wrong, again, do not get into it. From now, listening to yourself is your new mantra! By the way, just because you are sexually opened, it does not mean that the condom is still negotiable.

Moreover, set the rules by interrogating what are your sexfriend’s intentions. Having a sexfriend is not about providing emotional supply. So make sure that your sexfriend does not want love but just sex! If you talk about sex but the potential sexfriend talk about personal past, end up the conversation. What are each other’s limits? How you are guys going to reach out to each other? Can your sexfriend call you? Text you? I am just asking because you could be married or in a relationship while reading this post.

Please, think about everything because no surprise’s allowed.


Having a broken heart is not a disease, so sex is not a cure. Don’t put yourself into something that you are not ready for because it will damage you severely. Having a sexfriend is more about a mindset rather than a relationship. Sexual encounters are about pleasure, not about emotional needs. So make sure that you do not need something else but sex. When you have a sexfriend, your emotions have to be under control. Don’t lie to yourself thinking that you have power over this kind of situation when you know damn well that you don’t. This situationship is not made for everyone, and that’s okay! It actually requires a lot of self-control. If you want to jump into it, you will have to separate your heart from your body. Otherwise, it will be emotionally painful.

A real sexfriend situationship is not glamourous; it looks nothing like in the movies.

#2. You can’t have a relationship with your sexfriend

This part is going to be a little a bit touchy for you. You can not have a relationship with your sexfriend. Like I said previously, the point to this is no strings attached. So, if you don’t want to develop emotional reactions then you have to consider your sexfriend like a transaction: you give me pleasure, so I pleasure you. Do not operate this way: he gives me sex, and I provide him with affection. Having a sexfriend can be very tricky, especially if you are the type of person who uses sex as emotional medicine.

Whatever is going on in your life, it shouldn’t impact your sexfriend in anyways. Keep your problems and needs to your friends, your real ones. Girl, you better stay focused! You two are not dating, so there is no ‘let’s know each other better’. If you feel like you are sexually being used, it’s because you are. It is the whole point of this sexual transaction. And just because you feel used, it does not mean that you should expect more. Sexual marketing is part of the contract. If you don’t want it anymore, then break the contact but please don’t ask for ‘more’.

#3. It is all about dick appointments, the rest is fake

When you meet your sexfriend, it’s all about sex. Usually, a good friend with benefits can give you the illusion of dating. Every time you see him, the date is pleasing and exciting. As a result, you may think that he likes you, but he doesn’t. He is just doing his best to make you feel comfortable enough so the sex can be more accessible and better. The truth is that everything starts and ends in the bedroom; the rest is purely fake. Sometimes, even his attitude is calculated, he may appear friendly, smart or generous but trust me, he is not boyfriend material. The ‘dating illusion’ he gives you is just another reason why you should come back to him.

With that being said, don’t you ever make the mistake to get attached just because the dick is too good…

#4. If you start to be more emotional around him than horny

GAME OVER! Most of the times, there is always someone who ends up wanting or needing more. If that happens, that’s okay. Having a sexfriend is not for everyone. We are all human beings. We can all neglect our emotional needs but not for the long run. If that happens to you, you have to let the other person know. You don’t have to explain everything, but you must end the situationship. The quicker you will put an end to it, the better it will be for both of you. Do not secretly dream of developing a romantic relationship. Life is not a Hollywood movie; keep your head cold.

Read: 4 Dating manipulations: lies tell us

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This article contains (explicit) adult material.
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